While there's no definitive quiz to determine if sibling rivalry exists between your children, you can use the following questions to assess the dynamics in your family and gain insight into whether sibling rivalry may be a concern. Answering these questions can help you better understand the relationships between your children:
Question 1: Do your children frequently argue or have conflicts with each other?
(a) Rarely or never
(b) Occasionally
(c) Often
Question 2: Have you observed instances of jealousy or competition between your children for your attention or approval?
(a) Rarely or never
(b) Occasionally
(c) Often
Question 3: Do your children engage in teasing, taunting, or name-calling towards each other?
(a) Rarely or never
(b) Occasionally
(c) Often
Question 4: Have there been physical fights or aggressive behavior between your children?
(a) Rarely or never
(b) Occasionally
(c) Often
Question 5: Do your children frequently complain that one child receives preferential treatment?
(a) Rarely or never
(b) Occasionally
(c) Often
Question 6: Have you noticed a child feeling left out or excluded by their siblings?
(a) Rarely or never
(b) Occasionally
(c) Often
Question 7: Does one child often act out or misbehave to gain your attention or be perceived as the more important child?
(a) Rarely or never
(b) Occasionally
(c) Often
Question 8: Are there significant mood swings, irritability, or withdrawal in one or more of your children that may be related to sibling interactions?
(a) Rarely or never
(b) Occasionally
(c) Often
To interpret your results:
If you answered mostly (a): Sibling rivalry may be present in your family to a limited extent, which is quite common and generally not a cause for concern.
If you answered mostly (b): Your family may have noticeable sibling rivalry. It's a normal part of growing up, but you can employ strategies to manage it effectively.
If you answered mostly (c): Your family may be experiencing more intense or chronic sibling rivalry. Consider addressing the issues and using strategies to create a more harmonious family environment.
Remember that sibling rivalry is a common and natural part of sibling relationships. The goal is not to eliminate it entirely but to manage it in a way that fosters healthier relationships and helps children learn important life skills such as conflict resolution and cooperation. Read our blog to learn more.